5-Star Review: When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name

ForeWord Clarion Review
NONFICTION: AGING

When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name: A Son’s “Course” in “Rational” Caregiving

Stephen L. Goldstein
Grid Press
978-1-55571-701-8
Five Stars (out of Five)

Memoirists often offer the lessons of their lives for the benefit of others, but few combine
autobiography and advice as seamlessly as Stephen Goldstein in When My Mother No Longer
Knew My Name. Goldstein dedicated over ten years to caring for his mother at the end of her life.
His book describes a journey that required both careful planning and constant flexibility. Along
with detailing his own day-to-day experiences caring for his mother at home, Goldstein offers
ideas for others to consider when the time comes for them to take care of members of their own
families.

Working as a trends analyst, radio personality, and TV talk show host for years has made
Goldstein a master communicator. In his newspaper columns he lucidly observes the defects in
America’s health-care system and offers solutions at the political level. With this book, he
retains the same journalistic clarity but makes it personal by inviting readers into his home and
into the reality of caring for a parent with dementia.

Goldstein clearly knows the shortcomings of the nursing home system in the United
States and wanted no part of it for his intensely independent mother. His memoir could easily
have become a rant-filled manifesto on a pet topic, but Goldstein instead maintains a personal
tone as he offers details of life with his mother. In addition, each chapter is aptly headed with
quotations ranging from sources as varied as T.S. Eliot and Freddie Mercury. Always respectful,
Goldstein gently shows readers his mother’s decline from her delight in managing dinner parties
to her eventual resigned acceptance of eating pureed peas. Even as Alzheimer’s disease
progresses and she doesn’t seem to know him, Goldstein never loses sight of his mother as a
person, offering gestures as simple and profound as always setting a formal place for her at the
table.

Offset from the narrative, in script on a grey background, are pieces of advice for the
reader. These are not merely quotes from the book, but practical tips from Goldstein’s
experience, such as the recommendation to always call 9-1-1 immediately in an emergency
instead of trying to handle it alone. Rather than distracting from the main text, these direct-toreader
messages engage and entertain, keeping the reader involved in the issues under
discussion. Quizzes at the beginning and end of the book also encourage readers to take an active
role.
When My Mother No Longer Knew My Name: a son's "course" in "rational" caregiving is available on Amazon.com, BarnesandNoble.com, Hellgatepress.com (the publisher's website) and through bookstores nationwide: http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=when+my+mother+no+longer+knew+my+name